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Open borders, record inflation, and skyrocketing crime—Joe Biden's first term is one of the most craptastic in American history. But on Planet Brandon, it's all going according to plan . . .

He received 81 million votes. His party controlled the House and the Senate. He took office with a nearly 60 percent approval rating. His first month saw the economy recovering nicely and the new COVID-19 vaccines being distributed around the country. And, in his words, he had the awesome power to mobilize "truinernashabada pressure."

And yet, with all that and more, Joe Biden's first term has been a spectacular failure. COVID roared back. The withdrawal from Afghanistan left thirteen U.S. service members dead and hundreds of Americans stranded as Afghans fell from airplanes. Sixteen American cities set homicide records. More than 2.3 million illegal immigrants entered the country. Inflation reached forty-year highs. And Russia invaded Ukraine. Even the...